Saviors and Crosses

I don't understand why anyone would want to carry around as much unhappiness as some people seem to. I don't understand why anyone would want to work so hard at squeezing their emotions farther and farther beneath the surface until it seems like they're actively waging a war against any vestige of anything - even happiness - that might cause a few ripples of feeling to spread across their stoic exterior.

We all get enough crosses in this world without having to make our own, and it's hard for me to watch anyone - much less someone I care about - seeking out the heaviest, most splintery wood for their self to lug around. There's probably some selfishness in that - being around miserable people makes me miserable, too. I wish I knew how not to be affected and how to go about my own life without finding myself withdrawing as well, but for some reason it's not that easy.

Today is Christmas; a day when we're supposed to celebrate the birth of hope and joy. I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past couple days, and I think I've stumbled into what I believe is my most valid reason for subscribing to organized religion, and it is this: It Makes Things More Real. I'm tired of the prevailing meta-view of religion that says "spirituality is good, I like being a good person, hope is good, and Christmas is a *symbol* of happiness, but "religion" is nothing more than a cultural artifact that I might know intellectual facts about..."

I guess that can be confusing because to a lot of people religion seems like just another breed of mass delusion that adds a confusing haze between imagination and reality, and I don't deny that that's the case in many instances. I would counter that with the argument that, properly directed, religion can be a really valuable way to grapple with, and experience, realities that aren't immediately accessible or even evident otherwise.

I'm going to jump to Easter for a minute, and the crucifixion story. I think that on some level this story can be taken as the narrative of what a lot of us go through when we finally understand on every level of our being that as individuals we aren't at the center of the universe, and that until we truly shed that selfish view (and accompanying resentment, jealousy, etc) we aren't going to be happy. I think it's fair to say that a lot of people experience some sort of personal/spiritual crucifixion (and resurrection - that's the important part) that is every bit as real as being physically nailed up and physically rising from the dead.

I think religion is important as a way to make these points accessible to us. Somehow it seems like talking about feelings, emotions, attitudes, and perceptions only emphasizes (to most people, at least) that these things aren't tangible, and so still tends to make them seem less real or less relevant whereas religion provides an arena to physically practice and have real experiences. I'm arguing this regardless of the fact that it seems like a lot of people who practice religion don't actually see it this way - my concern here is more with what I believe and how I think it relates to human experience. Additionally, religion offers a community for practicing, and I think the sense of interconnectedness and support gained thereof is also tremendously valuable emotionally and physically.

Therefore, to me, Christmas shouldn't be a day where we celebrate the fact that happiness exists, or where we "hope" for peace and joy, or where we reflect on the archaic beliefs of a bunch of primitives - it should be a day where we truly EXPERIENCE and celebrate the birth of that joy and every other positive notion people associate with the day, where we feel with every fiber of our being that such things ARE REAL, and not just as nice ideas. They don't exist independently of us, however, and I think that's the point that a lot of people miss. This seems like the whole idea behind having the Savior of mankind "begotten, not made" and "born of a virgin" - just as they do not appear at the arbitrary whim of a distant God (Jesus wasn't just plunked down out of the heavens, as he could have been if he wasn't the actual result of some premarital nookie, was he?) these experiences also are meant to be available to the individual (vice requiring two people, or ten, or whatever). Nobody is left with an excuse for not partaking.

Therefore. These feelings are conceived by spirit, they are cultivated deep within, and finally they spring into the world from the most humble places. They, and not the mere thought of them, are real. This is the reason why it seems so senseless to wander around lost in a forest of grief and pessimism all the time. People seem to try so hard to find a sense of meaning and relevance through suffering, but the whole point of Christmas is that THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON TO BE SO SAD ALL THE TIME, and furthermore - history has endowed us with any number of philosophies to help us find that joy.