On Monday morning I was walking to class holding a glass bottle of juice. I was pretty tired, so I dropped it (I have a tendency to drop things when I'm sleepy) and it shattered all over the place. I put my stuff down, went to the womens' bathroom, got paper towels, cleaned up, repeated, repeated, repeated, etc. As I was down on my hands and knees, about 20 people walked by me on their way to class (it was about 10 minutes before class started, or there would have been a larger crowd). Not a single one stopped or offered to help. Clearly, I had no right to EXPECT help; dropping the bottle was my own fault, and had nothing to do with them. That's true enough. It just seemed pathetic that I felt guilty for wishing someone would stop and help me, because people always seem to feel SO strongly that asking them to help out with something that doesn't directly involve them is a HUGE imposition, selfish, and unfair - and I don't want to impose on anyone, or be selfish, or unfair - it would just be nice to see some common courtesy.
I feel like I've run into this more here than anywhere else I've lived, and it's just exhausting. Nobody's perfect, and it's overwhelming - especially when I'm the type of person to help out those who need it - to feel like I'm just living in this impersonal void - and to feel this sort of "If you hadn't fucked up, you wouldn't be wanting *our* help" sort of disdain emanating from other people. (Either that, or a "better you than me, sucker!" sort of attitude - which isn't as bad, but still - sucks.)
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