Democracy, etc.

I voted today. I don't support all of the issues supported by the candidate I voted for. I voted for him primarily because I perceived his opponent as incompetent and generally useless, and because I think he might accomplish a couple goals that I think are really worthwhile. I died a bit inside to do it, though, because some of his perspectives and methods run counter to some of my deep-seated ideals and values, and so it makes me feel a bit like I'm betraying myself. At the same time...that's the price of progress? It's better than just voting for an empty figure who purports to stand for my values but fails miserably at carrying them out?

Overall, life is going pretty well, I think. I've been getting my projects and assignments in and still getting a relatively sane amount of sleep (at least 5 hours a night). Tomorrow I have to finish up a five page paper, and then Thursday I might actually start to get ahead a bit on the upcoming weeks' work.

Another somewhat odd dream of mine from the other day. In the dream, I was at church with Brian, and we both went up for communion. Instead of giving me one host, the priest gave me about 5 or 6. I walked back to the pew, unsure of what to do - if I was supposed to give the extra back to the priest, or consume all of them? I knelt down and just kept them cupped in my hand - afraid to do anything with them.

I think in some ways that's a metaphor for love (religious and romantic). You can be offered all of the grace and love in the world, but you have to be comfortable with accepting it...for some reason, I was still relatively uncomfortable with God in my dream; I was frozen and afraid to do the right thing...afraid to even try to listen to my heart.

I'm learning a lot about trust; real trust.