let val soapbox = Jennifer.angryRant("Men Are Ignorant Pigs",
emotions.disgusted (lots),
people.qualifiers(7/10) )
in
val rant:string = fn (soapbox => "
Okay, it is time for some male bashing. Males, I am sorry. Chances are that if you're reading this, it doesn't apply to you. Maybe.
I just can't get over the sheet NUMBER of men in the world who really honestly see women as nothing more than objects/pieces of meat/etc. I know, that sounds really naive, and needleslly confrontational - but, seriously. On so many levels. I have never seen females be so shallow and degrading towards guys as guys are in the opposite direction.
Case #1. Guys who don't listen to what you're actually saying. Where do you get "Please try to put your paws all over me and act like a borderline stalker and generally be creepy!" from "I'm really busy, I'm doing homework, no really, that's fine, I actually don't need anyone right now..." I have seen SO many guys do that to girls recently. It's like they already have your mind made up for you, just because there's something else they're looking for and they see you as the most available object to give it to them. It's disgusting. Instead of actually listening and caring and being a friend, it's just looking for opportunities.
Case #2. The more extreme case, and less of a generality. So I recently joined okcupid, but NOT TO FIND DATES. I actually joined because Brian showed me the site and there were some interesting personality tests and the site uses some interesting algorithms. Oh yeah and procrastination, and I decided to try and write a test of my own. On my "profile", I mention (in more than one place) that I'm not looking for dates...besides that, I have just about every characteristic that screams "conservative in relationships and excessively virginal" in my profile and...I guess I should have expected it, but I have gotten an insane number of messages from all sorts of scumbags...and yes, it's easy to ignore, and yes I do ignore it but my point is more that guys feel comfortable doing that sort of thing at all. I got one message from a guy saying something like he was really turned off by the fact that I'm an engineer but he'll deign to try to get to know me if I think we might have sex because I'm hot.
Why is there this assumption that I'm LOOKING to have sex with any asshole who happens to stumble across my existence? Why are guys so presumptuous when it comes to girls? It's like it doesn't even occur to them that someone might have actual standards, and thoughts and desires of her OWN. I mean, I can already hear the chorus of "But we're not all like that, Jenn!" and that's definitely true, (and I'm really lucky to know all of the "good" guys that I do :)) but....I'm just really shocked at the percentage of guys that seem to choose the opposite behavior.
I am probably going to delete my okc account after I finish writing my test and let people take it. It's kind of an interesting site but I have no interest in just putting myself out there to be degraded. I'm definitely more willing to make myself part of the solution and quit bitching about all the jerks of the world, but...the idealist in me is still asking why it's okay for people to act like that, and why it's really my responsibility to avoid it instead of other people's responsibility to act like decent, rational, human beings.
"
end
1 comment:
You are absolutely right about anonymity. However, I have also had experiences (see Case #1) where guys have tended to act inappropriately in person; trying to take advantage of me (or my friends) in a specific situation. I've had guys try to touch me inappropriately while helping me with homework (years ago), and I've had guys try to get me to sleep with them because they assume that I'm automatically devastated and in need of "support" just because I happen not to be in a "relationship" right now, regardless of what I actually say to them or how I carry myself.
It *is* odd how that works, and I think that it's an interesting reflection of the values portrayed by current American culture. How many TV shows, movies, etc. have the basic theme of "young girl falls madly in love with strong confident male who ignores that she says that she's not interested?" I think maybe it's a reflection of some kind of arrogance -or- (insert some less emotionally charged word)...just the idea that true "strength" lies in overcoming ALL obstacles, specifically the most insurmountable ones.
In my case, it's mostly harmless - I can still easily ignore people who seem a bit too eager. But the scarier implication about the "no means yes" attitude is when that attitude gets applied to other circumstances - isn't that how most date rape occurs? It's scary that there's such complacently regarding what it means when someone says they aren't interested, because then what can you say when you really _aren't_ interested?
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