Interstellar War

Yesterday was a crazy day...lots of fun, though.

Well, mostly fun. I finally got around to reselling the engagement ring. I should have done it back over the summer, but - story of my life and running out of time to do things.

I've actually gotten better about that over break, though. I've managed to see everyone I wanted to hang out with, and I got a lot of other small things left over from the summer taken care of - like renewing my passport.

Selling the ring was a very strange experience. I sold it for quite a bit less than it's worth - all I wanted was enough to cover the replacement for my High School ring, and I got something close to that. When I was in the store talking to the lady and signing the papers, I was really calm and detached. It wasn't until I was back in the car, driving away from the store, that I choked up a bit. I pulled myself together, though, and then I was fine. It's time to let the past really start sleeping in the past.

In other news.

I've learned a lot about myself and realized a lot about my family this break. In the past few weeks I've been vacillating between disgust, disappointment, resentment, and a deep desire to just understand and be understood. I think the healthiest thing for me to do is just to understand and accept things - and recognize that to expect that of everyone else isn't realistic or reflective of what love actually means. I love my family. I'll always be there for them; I'll always try my best to listen and to show I care. Family is so important. I don't think I'll be spending this much time at home again, but I don't think that physical time in this building is very related to the sorts of things I can contribute to them, at least not now.

I have this odd, unsettled feeling like I'm looking or waiting for something right now, but I'm not sure what. Some of it's a holdover from the family situation over the past month, I suppose. I should try to snap out of this so I can start the semester with a feeling of really having moved on.

It also occurs to me that going back to Pittsburgh is probably going to be what it takes. Time to pack up and sort things out so I can hit the ground running (or maybe floating, depending...hehe) when I get there.