HoI

Last night a group of us gals went out to this really good Indian place in the area. It's the frist time I'd been back this summer. The trip was my idea; Indian food is one of those types of cravings that absolutely must be satisfied ASAP.

While we drove there, I amused some of the girls who hadn't heard about it with the story of my engagement to Tom the summer after freshman year. I realized during that telling that we were heading to the place where Tom and I had unofficially kicked off our relationship.

I hadn't thought about Tom with more than the most fleeting impulse, or as more than a funny story to tell, in quite awhile. Going to the restaurant didn't bring back traumatic memories or anything (it has been TWO YEARS, after all) but it did provide a forum for thinking about the past a bit. Ironically, some of the dinner conversation focused around Harry Potter and the impending release of the 7th book in July, which reminded me that after Tom and I went with the group to get Indian food that night we stood in line at Borders for the 6th Harry Potter book.

Although the relationship with Tom almost entirely changed my life, it seems as though the lessons I learned and the changes in attitudes and expectations which accompanied them are more or less independent of the actual PERSON himself. Maybe it just feels that way because we haven't had any contact at all in over a year. A few months ago I was having lunch with a friend and I mused about maybe getting in touch with Tom, and the friend said something like, "But why? What would you even say?"

It was a good point. So much of that relationship rested on making the other person into something or someone they weren't that looking back it's hard to believe that there was much of a truly personal connection there at all.

And really, what would I say?