Honestly...

A friend of mine made the point awhile back that it's kind of scary to hear someone preface a statement with the word "Honestly..." because - aren't you supposed to be honest all the time? Why would you need to point out that you're being honest? (This is rhetorical, people.)

I've been doing a lot of thinking about friends, and friendships. I realized how easy it is to be hurt by someone and not admit it - even to yourself. I also realized though that I have this tendency to make the most excuses for the people who least deserve them, which is kind of ironic and unfair to...well, most people. It's as though seeing that someone is usually responsible and dependable automatically gives them the ability to hurt me MORE than someone I know deep down I can't trust to begin with.

I guess it makes sense to feel msot betrayed by the people you expect it from the least, because it's so easy to forget that those people are the ones who are actually going to care about making it right when the time comes. Losing faith in them seems just rotten as the original offense. (Well...that combined with having a sort of double standard for hurt-taking, I suppose.)

I'm done with making those excuses for people. Not only does it seem unfair to my real friends, but I realized that it's been giving me a pretty awful perspective about myself - I always end up dismissing my thoughts and feelings, and in a lot of cases, my self-worth. (Oh, it sounds like it belongs on Oprah, but it's TRUE, ya'll...hehe).

In other news, Christina called me last nights and we made plans for her to visit for my BIRTHDAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!!! *Does a backflip*

Also, one of my other friends e-mailed me a link to some article in a Berkely paper about the "Air Force Gay Bomb" plot. Those articles come out every few years people, coincidentally right around election time. It's sensationalism at its finest, and makes me really mad that FOXNews has done so much to damage the credibility of anything even remotely associated with conservatism - mostly because it makes people ready and willing to believe ANYTHING from the liberal press. Honestly. If something seems too ridiculous to believe, guess what, IT PROBABLY IS.